Coon-Gate '08: 2nd Installment

Foreword: What a response I have gotten from my last post, I am flattered. I should give a little shout out to Brooklyn of the Williams clan (and my favorite niece) who called me yesterday to tell me how funny she thought my raccoon story was. I wonder if she understands that I kinda want these critters dead. Calls from little people always crack me up because the excitement of making the call is what they love, not the stimulating conversation from the adults on the other end.

2nd Installment:
The critters were quiet last night. Elliott did some banging when he got home from work, I did a little in my robe and slippers at about 11:30pm and again this morning as we were leaving for work. I keep thinking if I put myself in a compromising situation whilst harassing the 4 legged family, Murphy's Law will kick in and that is when they will appear to defend their home. If I go out in my robe with nothing else on, perhaps unarmed while eating an ice cream that is when they will show themselves.


Heather and her highly trained team of professionals did some brainstorming yesterday at work and all they could come up with were ways that were as torturous for me and Elliott as they are for the raccoons. I was also advised by Emily to play Barney's "I Love You" into the attic because that is what they used to break the spirits of Iraqi POW's. What I need to come to terms with is that people seem to enjoy watching me struggle with this and I secretly enjoy the hunt. My dad has known that about me for a long and I remember being very offended when he pointed this out to me at 15.

I have done some more practical research on the inter-web and this is my favorite site so far: Coon-x tells you how to get rid of these guys but the narratives are very descriptive and bordering on humorous. I would love to hear your suggestions but even more than that, I would love you to take a shift tonight between 12am and 6am to bang on the roof. Elliott didn't like this plan too much but I am ready!

Warning to the Urban Coon:
I am ready for you. I will rob you of your sleep and make your babies so cranky they might just move out and leave you behind. Pack your bandit bags, your lease is up.