Friday, April 11, 2008
Thursday, April 10, 2008
My date with St. Paul
This is a very personal post that I have re-visited quite a few times over the last week and am still hesitant to publish. It has once again brought to my attention the vulnerability of publishing a blog and it makes me nervous to be so exposed.
Now you are going to expect something scandalous... too bad.
On Sunday while Elliott was working I did my jaunting about town (as noted in the previous posts) and among all the sights, my brief visit to St. Paul's Cathedral stood out as my favorite because of the profound effect it had on me.
I have a special love for cathedrals thanks to my father but I have never been effected by them as a place of worship. I have viewed them as art and the relationship between the two had not connected until this visit. I am not sure why this is, it seems so simple but I think it has to do with all the folklore and mystery around religions that were not my own.
Because it was a Sunday when I visited, there was no sightseeing allowed in the church. This was good news to me because I had always felt offended on behalf of the people who worship in these churches that are tourist attractions. There is little to no reverence observed and I find that frustrating and a source of guilt because I love to satisfy my curiosities about these ancient buildings and am thereby part of the problem.
As you can see from the pictures below there was a good size crowd gathered on the steps who were likely in the same situation I was and forgot that people go to church in this church on Sunday so cameras and chatty guests were not welcome. The signs on the steps asked that you not go inside unless you were there to worship but since I was alone and felt like I had a healthy sense of reverence I went in anyway. Very respectful, I know.
I was awestruck. I couldn't believe how big it was inside and how quiet (except for the 5 bishops who were in the revolving door with me and made a grand and raucous entrance). There were immediately tears running down my cheeks as I contemplated the sacrifice of so many that played a part in erecting this incredible building.
I took a seat in the back and got my notepad out to write down a few thoughts to try and capture or process what I was feeling. These are a few of my notes:
-I am overcome by this place
-The bells have started to ring
-Tears are streaming down my face, eyes and cheeks burning. Why?
-Sanctuary
-I would love to believe in something enough to make this kind of sacrifice and investment
-A place of worship should not be a tourist attraction
-Brighter than any I have been in
-The bells
It is obvious that I am not the first to be stirred by cathedrals but it felt so personal that day, the emotion so tangible. One of my favorite books is Pillars of the Earth so I think of Tom Builder or Quasimodo and their relationships with their cathedrals and it is profound and humbling. More importantly, I wonder what experience the authors had to stir them deeply enough to write entire books where the buildings are as much a character as the people.
The thing I find ironic about my visit to St. Paul is that I don't really like the design of the building that much but it will always be the place where I made the emotional connection with the spirit of a great sanctuary.
I had not learned much about St. Paul's before I visited and that night I sat on my crackberry at dinner looking up anything I could so fill out the experience. There are still so many untold stories that I crave.
While I was inside the bells started to ring and I didn't want to miss hearing them outside so I left before I really wanted to. Have you even been close to a church for this? Incredible.
J-Walkin for Jesus! I had to run across the street to try and get a picture from the right angle. Didn't work so well on the move trying not to get hit by a bus.
Ice cream anyone? Yes, an ice cream truck with its own parking spot in front of the church. Seems odd.
I wish I had a good full view picture but I came to accept something while on this trip. I can take as many photos as I want but there are already millions taken by other people of the same thing and my tiny camera and bad eye are not going to do most thing justice. So, I was documenting my experience, not creating art through photography.
Now you are going to expect something scandalous... too bad.
On Sunday while Elliott was working I did my jaunting about town (as noted in the previous posts) and among all the sights, my brief visit to St. Paul's Cathedral stood out as my favorite because of the profound effect it had on me.
I have a special love for cathedrals thanks to my father but I have never been effected by them as a place of worship. I have viewed them as art and the relationship between the two had not connected until this visit. I am not sure why this is, it seems so simple but I think it has to do with all the folklore and mystery around religions that were not my own.
Because it was a Sunday when I visited, there was no sightseeing allowed in the church. This was good news to me because I had always felt offended on behalf of the people who worship in these churches that are tourist attractions. There is little to no reverence observed and I find that frustrating and a source of guilt because I love to satisfy my curiosities about these ancient buildings and am thereby part of the problem.
As you can see from the pictures below there was a good size crowd gathered on the steps who were likely in the same situation I was and forgot that people go to church in this church on Sunday so cameras and chatty guests were not welcome. The signs on the steps asked that you not go inside unless you were there to worship but since I was alone and felt like I had a healthy sense of reverence I went in anyway. Very respectful, I know.
I was awestruck. I couldn't believe how big it was inside and how quiet (except for the 5 bishops who were in the revolving door with me and made a grand and raucous entrance). There were immediately tears running down my cheeks as I contemplated the sacrifice of so many that played a part in erecting this incredible building.
I took a seat in the back and got my notepad out to write down a few thoughts to try and capture or process what I was feeling. These are a few of my notes:
-I am overcome by this place
-The bells have started to ring
-Tears are streaming down my face, eyes and cheeks burning. Why?
-Sanctuary
-I would love to believe in something enough to make this kind of sacrifice and investment
-A place of worship should not be a tourist attraction
-Brighter than any I have been in
-The bells
It is obvious that I am not the first to be stirred by cathedrals but it felt so personal that day, the emotion so tangible. One of my favorite books is Pillars of the Earth so I think of Tom Builder or Quasimodo and their relationships with their cathedrals and it is profound and humbling. More importantly, I wonder what experience the authors had to stir them deeply enough to write entire books where the buildings are as much a character as the people.
The thing I find ironic about my visit to St. Paul is that I don't really like the design of the building that much but it will always be the place where I made the emotional connection with the spirit of a great sanctuary.
I had not learned much about St. Paul's before I visited and that night I sat on my crackberry at dinner looking up anything I could so fill out the experience. There are still so many untold stories that I crave.
While I was inside the bells started to ring and I didn't want to miss hearing them outside so I left before I really wanted to. Have you even been close to a church for this? Incredible.
J-Walkin for Jesus! I had to run across the street to try and get a picture from the right angle. Didn't work so well on the move trying not to get hit by a bus.
Ice cream anyone? Yes, an ice cream truck with its own parking spot in front of the church. Seems odd.I wish I had a good full view picture but I came to accept something while on this trip. I can take as many photos as I want but there are already millions taken by other people of the same thing and my tiny camera and bad eye are not going to do most thing justice. So, I was documenting my experience, not creating art through photography.
More from London and Paris
We are home now and weary. After being bumped from our flight on Monday, we left the hotel Tuesday morning at 9am and got on a bus from Gatwick to Heathrow. 2 hours on the bus, 3 hours in the airport, 8+ hrs on the flight, 4 more hours in the airport and 3+ hours on another plane, 1+ hours in the airport and finally home. Long day with only a few hours sleep and headed into another long day. I know, poor us.
But, it was all worth it cause look at the fun we had
Me being very regal at St. Paul's Cathedral in London. This is the home to the Diocese of London and where Winston Churchill's funeral and Charles and Diana's weddings were held. I was struck by how large it is and its positioning on the street. I will emote more about this later.
Me on the Millennium Bridge in London. If you look really close you can see the Tower Bridge and a few other London Landmarks behind me
This is the view as you come off the south side of Millennium bridge and look across the river at St. Paul's Cathedral. It is views like this that give me faith in the art of architectural design because as you walk down the ramp you never loose sight of St. Paul in its perfect frame and it is very stirring.
I took a little tour of Shakespeare's Globe on the South bank. It was a very emotional day and after the tour I sat on the wall licking an ice cream and crying. There are some days that being in the world without my mom is unbearable and this was one of them. I should have been there with her.
Me Walking along the South Bank of the Thames. Pretty nice, pretty nice
The South Bank has a festive atmosphere and these sand sculptures were one of my favorite things about the community that was gathered. This was only one of five groups that had left their mark in the sand that day and put out blankets for you to throw money on.
Concentrating VERY hard to get the big lion in the picture
But, it was all worth it cause look at the fun we had
Me being very regal at St. Paul's Cathedral in London. This is the home to the Diocese of London and where Winston Churchill's funeral and Charles and Diana's weddings were held. I was struck by how large it is and its positioning on the street. I will emote more about this later.
Me on the Millennium Bridge in London. If you look really close you can see the Tower Bridge and a few other London Landmarks behind me
This is the view as you come off the south side of Millennium bridge and look across the river at St. Paul's Cathedral. It is views like this that give me faith in the art of architectural design because as you walk down the ramp you never loose sight of St. Paul in its perfect frame and it is very stirring. 
I took a little tour of Shakespeare's Globe on the South bank. It was a very emotional day and after the tour I sat on the wall licking an ice cream and crying. There are some days that being in the world without my mom is unbearable and this was one of them. I should have been there with her.
Me Walking along the South Bank of the Thames. Pretty nice, pretty nice
The South Bank has a festive atmosphere and these sand sculptures were one of my favorite things about the community that was gathered. This was only one of five groups that had left their mark in the sand that day and put out blankets for you to throw money on.
Concentrating VERY hard to get the big lion in the picture
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