What we do best...sleep

Love to my boys who don't get enough attention or patience these days.  I adore you both, especially when you are sleeping.

On this day

I miss my mom.  Today is the anniversary of losing her and every year I think it will get easier but it doesn't and it infuriates me.  There just isn't anyone who will ever love you the way your mom does and this year, more than most, I have craved her.  I know she has been with me as I have gone through a pregnancy and the drama surrounding Q's birth but sometimes you just want to be held by your mom.

As we were driving last night, Q fell asleep with her head hanging to one side looking cramped and uncomfortable.  As I gently lifted her tiny head to prop it on a blanket, I burst into tears.  I cried because no one will ever touch me again with the deliberate tenderness that comes from your own mother's hands.  There is an unapologetic intimacy between mother and child that I find so much joy in, especially now that I am a mother.

I'm not the first and certainly not the last to lose my mother too early and am only one of four Riggs that miss her touch but it feels so personal and impossibly tragic today.

I have so many things I want to ask her.  I will keep those questions with me and as I travel through motherhood perhaps I will find the answers.

Thanks for loving me mom, the only way a mom can.