Warning: Preachy Post Below
I attended a funeral of my friend's
brother yesterday and it ignited all those feelings we have at every
one of these sad occasions. Time to buckle down and become better
people. Volunteer more time, be more generous, take life less
seriously, you know all of those things.
I felt a little strange
making the decision to attend the funeral. I was not close to this
brother,
I don't know that I would even consider myself a close to this "friend"
but after losing someone close to me I wanted to show
him some kind of support.
It was so poignant to me when I say people at
my mom's funeral that I knew weren't there for her, they were there for
me. Turns out, dead people don't care if you come to their funeral,
they were too busy to make it so you go for yourself or the family. Both important legitimate reasons.
So this is what I ask (and preach): Take the time to mourn with people. I
remember thinking that I just wanted the world to stop for 1 minute and
feel despair with me. It is so hard that something as tragic as death
is so common and therefore goes unrecognized by the rest of the world.
Elliott's cousin died in a motorcycle accident a few
years
ago and at the funeral his aunt said something that effected Elliott
enough that he has mentioned it to me numerous times; "be kind to
everyone you
talk to, you never know whose son died that day".
There is nothing that can fix what breaks when you lose someone but to feel like
others have made an effort to mourn with you and acknowledge your loss
is
a comfort. To this day, the thing that makes me happiest about my mom
is how much fun her funeral was. The whole event was a littlerowdy for
some (the boring people) but it was a perfect reflection of her
community. Laughing through tears was her formula and to celebrate that
surrounded by friends,Romans, Countrymen and angels was amazing.
Moral of the story: Take the time to go to funerals, they are important.
Oh, and leave your effing cell phones at home.
Friday, September 28, 2007
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2 comments:
i read this post and at the end i was left hoping that i was kind and thoughtful to you after your mom died...i hope that i was...i know i tried to be. i will never forget the times that you came to see me tight after connor was born. that was such a dark time in my life and those moments you spent with me meant the world to me. they really did(still do). you are a true friend and i love you. if you ever need to talk about moms, please call(or chat) and i would love to listen.
Damn it I am so sorry about your mom still but so happy that her funeral turned out how it did and you're totally right about everything you said here. I just wish I could have made it to the Sundance part. Do you still have a copy of the show there? I really want to see it. Really. Just like Jen said about Connor, having you come when Brenden was born meant SO much to Rhett and I. It was a totally different situation than Jen's, but it still showed me what a great friend you are. I hope I can be that kind of friend to you (that is, when Bren isn't crying or Cam isn't having a tantrum or when Rhett isn't being needy and....) haha, jk. Always! Let's chat!! Love you!
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